Communication is the introduction to every fulfilling encounter. I begin our interaction with email because it gives us both a chance to compose our thoughts, without the pressure of time imposed on every word. (Plus, candidly: I’m a Millenial and talking on the phone stresses me out. We don’t call each other unless something is gravely wrong!)

Far from being impersonal, the written word is a reminder of handwritten notes of devotion from days gone by… It’s an important way of getting to know each other and builds the framework of how we’ll communicate when we meet. Our first, digital interactions are a sweet aphrodisiac.

When we meet in the flesh, that communication is renewed. Though we may feel the urge to tear each other’s clothes off, we take a breath, a few moments. We introduce ourselves; it may feel like we already know each other. Maybe it feels like we’re perfect strangers. Both are jolts of excitement. Either way, we’ll have already chatted about some of what will happen… but we aren’t sure how exactly the dice will fall, especially when we’re exploring a new experience.

This is why ongoing communication is so necessary and so sexy among play partners, whether we are well known to each other or experiencing the new buddings of desire.

I want to know how you feel. I want to know what you’re deeply enjoying, what’s pleasant, and what might not be working for you. Everyone is different, and I don’t assume that you’ll enjoy every single thing that we explore. I want to find what drives you. This is why every kind of feedback begets greater intimacy.

My intention is to give you the confidence to communication with me freely, to let me know where you are, how you’re feeling. For me, that’s the greatest pleasure of having another creature with you in your moment of pleasure: we get to talk, laugh, flirt, and tell one another how it’s all feeling.

So, why are we all so quiet? Trust me, it isn’t just you.

I was recently speaking with my cohort Charli Gallo regarding the subject of quiet sex. I said it was a habit I had to unlearn as an adult, and she confirmed my experience. …and how many play parties, orgies, and naked birthday parties have we been to together?! It clearly isn’t a matter of experience that taught us to be so tongue-tied.

I suspect many of us have similar roots in our learned habit of sexual self-censorship.

In our first experiences of masturbation, it is very likely there was someone sharing the room, or close by down the hall. Lacking privacy, we bit pillows, our hands, hid beneath the blankets to find our solitude. As we grew older, we locked ourselves in bathrooms and locker room stalls to find a few peaceful moments of quiet during puberty. Old habits die hard.

If you were raised religious, like I was, or as a woman, like I was, those things add additional layers of shame and the drive to conceal your desire and the pursuit of pleasure to the mix.

I know where I learned to hide my voice.

Summer camp. Funny how our shared fantasies grow from realities. I bunked in a cabin in the woods of Maine with six girls and our counselor. I couldn’t spend six weeks keeping my hands to myself every night, so I learned how to be quiet.

I separated pleasure from sound, touch from expression. It took me me years to begin to unravel this teenage habit.

Now, I take great pleasure in hearing myself gasp, growl, yelp with enjoyment, no less than in telling my partner to move their head or their hand to give me greater pleasure. It turns me on to hear you turned on.

If this is an experience you relate to, know that I don’t expect you to unlearn it on your own.

What I want you to know is my desire to hear from you – in your affect, your sighing, your moaning, the way your body responds. I want to create a space where you can experience your body, our bodies, and the great pleasures we have to offer each other without worry or shame.

read more

Ava D’Amore’s Brand (spanking) new VIP Gallery!

I’ve recently added a password-protected VIP gallery to my website. You can receive the password (and thus, lifetime access) for just $50, which can be paid via Amazon gift card, Circle Pay, or cash if we’re lucky enough to meet in the flesh. Email to inquire.

What to expect: never-before seen (and sometimes explicit) selfies, extra photos from past shoots, exhibitionism, occasional short videos, behind the scenes kinky fun, and a closer peek into my world. My goal is to add something to the gallery every 1 to 2 weeks, and the gallery has a sizeable collection already.

What not to expect: porn.

Here’s one free sample of the kind of goodies you’ll get. Yes, this is on the subway. Enjoy.

Ava D’Amore


Artist Page:

read more

How do you feel about switching?

If you want to switch in scene, it’s always a good idea to ask. You wouldn’t just shock someone in the balls with a cattle prod without asking, right? Or at least not without making sure that cattle prods are hard limits. Some Tops will always be Tops, and some bottoms will only want to bottom: that’s totally cool! Many factors might make a person not want switch during a scene, even if it is something that they have done in the past or are interested in doing in the future. Even with a willing partner, the mood has to be right.

read more



How did you start exploring your submissiveness in D/s play?

I’ve been playing the role of distressed damsel since childhood. I was always the one who wanted to be kidnapped and held prisoner. My adult self is a (barely) refined version of this young girl, and I’ve been actively exploring D/s since I reached maturity. I like being forced to do what I already want to do!

read more


Lily (3)

How did you start exploring your submissiveness in D/s play?

In adolescence, I awoke to a secret and very powerful need to submit, but I had no idea how or who to ask. I tried mere spankings, but I discovered I craved something more – something visceral that I could not articulate and was too ashamed to admit. Eventually, I sought out and found where and how to ask for the “it” I had yet to name: Your dominance. My surrender. I still crave it deeply every day.

read more

Failure: a (true) love story

I didn’t call red, but the scene was definitely over. I curled into a fetal ball and cried, and I pretended not to hear my Dom’s instructions to clean up myself and our toys. That would really mean it was done.

read more

Miami à Trois

Photo by Helmut Newton, Two Pairs Of Legs In Black Stockings, Paris, 1979, Courtesy Sothebys 2011

Ever curious about bringing your partner to visit AOS? A couples experience can be life-changing! Whether it’s celebrating a special occasion, learning and having fun together, or reigniting a spark, we are here at your service! Nothing pleases us more than to please you…both of you! As a tribute to those special couple friends we’ve developed over the years, and to perhaps intrigue those of you who have always wondered, we’ve decided to start a series of posts exploring how one special couple started discovering the world of kink together. Here’s the first installment written by a very special friend of AOS…

read more

From Ms. Jo’s blog

It’s really good to be back in New York.

Despite the April rain and my lingering wanderlust, I’m content to have my heels on the ground for the time being. This past week I’ve busied myself with work, play, and the delicious overlap. As I approach this next season, I’m prioritizing my surroundings. Spring cleaning…but beginning with my favorite areas.

read more

Kinksters in the kitchen

Kink and delicious food…is there any better way to overwhelm the senses and leave fully sated? Mistress Blunt, a friend, a classically trained Dominatrix and hedonist, sure knows how to give us the best of both worlds – she perfectly combines the art of cooking with the art of BDSM. Make sure you check out her recent posts that feature some of our own Artists, Switch Josephine and Switch Margot! Her luscious recipes aren’t the only things that’ll leave your mouth watering!

read more

50 Shades and the Power of Erotica

With the resurgence of publicity for “Fifty Shades of Grey,” I’ve found myself drawn into numerous discussions about it recently. Since it’s Valentine’s Day, and the movie has just been released (although I have yet to see it), I thought it would be appropriate to say a few things about the issues “Fifty Shades” and erotica in general tend to bring up.

read more