Featured Artist Interview: Switch Amber Amante

To kick off (and kink off) the re-start of our Featured Artist Interviews, we have an endlessly fascinating switch player and one of the newest Artists to be featured on AOS – Amber Amante! Let’s get to know her…

Amber, a huge welcome to AOS! What brought you here?
Thank you! I’m super excited to be here! I’ve been kinky in my personal life for over 8 years now, as a player, educator, and party promoter. A few months ago, AoS babe Mandie Rae suggested that I try my hand at playing professionally, and I’ve been hooked ever since!

I always love asking this question – How did you find out you were kinky?
I met this cute guy at a Halloween party, and he messaged me on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) and asked me if I liked bondage. I had no idea what bondage was, but I said I was open to trying it after he explained what it was. I went over his house, and he tied me up with rope, and I couldn’t get enough. He would go on to introduce me to impact play and power exchange, and he eventually became the first person I ever had sex with (yes, I explored kink before I explored sex!). I got into the public kink scene in NYC 8 years ago, exclusively as a bottom, but I picked up topping once cute people with great butts started to ask me to hurt them.

I understand…butts are pretty tempting! You are a top-leaning switch now. What does that mean?
I started playing with kink as a bottom, but when I discovered topping, I fell in love with it. I still bottom in some instances and to some people, but I strongly prefer to be the person in control of the action. For me, submitting is an occasional treat whereas domination is my passion every day.

It’s often difficult to get in the mind of someone who is naturally dominant to find their submissive side, especially for new partners. So tell us, what pushes your submission buttons?
I’m really into objectification as a submissive: I want to be reduced to my usefulness. I like being given tasks or challenges to complete that will make the person dominating me happy. Maybe I’m just here to look pretty. Maybe I’m just meant to hold your drink. Maybe I’m just here to struggle and beg for your amusement.

Seems like when it’s not done well, it could be diminishing and hurtful. What tips can you give your partners to build a happy and healthy scene around you bottoming?
I think that all of my best scenes as a bottom start with a conversation about what turns me on and what makes me feel comfortable; I want to know that my partners care about me and my needs, even if the scene that we’re about to do will be more structured around their needs. I also think checking in during the scene is super helpful. Lean in, grab my hair, and growl into my ear, “Do you like that?” or “Can you take more for me?”. I’ll answer truthfully, and if I say no, you can ask me to do something else without ruining the moment. I don’t like being set up to fail. At the end of the scene, I want to know that I did a good job, and it’s really helpful when my partners tell me what they enjoyed about our scene.

You told me you are moving to Boston soon. When do you leave us?
I touch down on August 26th.

What are you excited for in Boston?
I’m most excited about meeting new people, making new friends (and getting into all sorts of trouble with those friends), and finding new dessert places! I have a wicked sweet tooth.

Do you have any fun plans for the rest of August in NYC?
The rest of August is a whirlwind of activity! I’m hosting a private kink party this weekend, going to another play party the following week, and hosting my own going away party before I move to Boston.

People new to the scene are always asking how to get into play parties. Any advice?
Yes! So much advice. If you’re between the ages of 18 and 35, check out your local TNG (that stands for The Next Generation) chapter. You can often find TNG chapters and their events on Fetlife (it’s like a kinky Facebook). TNG often has events that cater to newbies. If you’re outside of the TNG age range, I recommend joining Fetlife and searching for munches in your area. A munch is a low pressure meet-up at a restaurant where folks who are kinky (or curious about kink) can come together and chat with likeminded people. Munches are great because there’s no pressure to play because you’re in a restaurant; you really *shouldn’t* be playing there. Munches allow you to meet people who are new as well as people who are more experienced, and you can usually ask the more experienced folks what parties they recommend, and then you can get a sense of specific play parties before actually checking them out. Once you’ve heard about a play party that sounds appealing to you, you can find the entry requirements (some parties want you to register online, some parties want to get a sense of your experience with kinky spaces, some parties want you to come with a buddy, etc.) and go, go, go!

You mentioned that you are a kink educator. What topics are you especially passionate about sharing?
Sure thing! I teach sex education and fetish classes on a variety of topics, but my favorite subjects to teach are co-topping (two Dommes, 1 sub), fisting, urethral insertions, deepthroating, and strap-on play.

What’s on your kink agenda? Any scenes in the works that you are excited about?
Yes! I’m getting the chance to reconnect with one of my favorite playmates this month; she really lets me take her to dark places. I love using this altitude training mask on her; it allows me to restrict the amount of air she can take in without having to use one (or both) of my hands to cover her nose and mouth, which means I can beat her and throw her around without having to worry about her breathing more than I want her to. We also tend to do a lot of fear play: I threaten her with things that terrify her, like cattle prods and stun guns, and I delight in her (futile) attempts to flee.

In your profile, you list “fear play” as a like for Domming. Can you tell us more about that? What can a potential new partner except from you in this realm?
Just reading this question made me hungry for fear haha. For me, fear play refers to scenes in which someone allows me to play with the things that scare them. It’s very individualized because one person’s fears and phobias aren’t necessarily the same as the next person’s. When someone is interested in exploring fear play with me, I ask them what scares them (common answers include pain, electricity, being unable to breathe, and needles) and then I ask them how much I can force them to confront their fear. For example, I have a play partner who is terrified of needles. He wouldn’t let me pierce him, but he would let me hold an uncapped needle against his skin. I would get on top of him and pin him down, and hold the needle against his chest and tell him that he should be careful about struggling…he might prick himself. It was a great predicament because he was so terrified of needles that his thoughts would be consumed with getting away, but he also desperately didn’t want to get stuck by accident either.

Diabolical! That sounds like it can get pretty intense. How do you balance that out in a scene?
I’m here for visceral reactions and vulnerability. I don’t want it to feel real; I want it to BE real. Real pain, real fear, real catharsis, real laughter, real joy. Kink and BDSM offers unique opportunities for deep connection and vulnerability, and I want to take full advantage of those.

I also hear you have a particular adoration for GS play, both giving and receiving. Tell us more!
My earliest memory is of being potty trained; I remember turning around, picking up the potty and drinking from it. These days, I’m a bit more selective about drinking piss, but I adore playing with it. I love the sound of a strong stream of piss hitting a toilet or the ground or a person. I love feeling its warmth hit my skin. I love that groan of release that someone makes when they finally relieve themselves after holding it in for a while. I love covering my partners in my pee, marking them as mine in that moment. I love forcing someone to drink several bottles of water and then making them beg me to pee. I love peeing in fancy glassware and forcing someone to drink it. If I’m feeling especially mean, I’ll put it in the fridge before making them taste it. I could go on and on about this, but the “too long, didn’t read” version is that I have a lifelong love affair with watersports.

I’m sure that’s an affair other people would love to partake in! (GS lovers, take note!)
Tell us more about your hobbies outside of kink play. What do you enjoy doing in your time away from kink?

One of them is pretty obvious from my pictures: body modification. I love tattoos and piercings of all sorts, and I’m hoping to have most of my body tattooed. I’m also looking into getting a cutting/flesh removal at some point, but I haven’t decided on the design or the location just yet. In addition to putting art on my physical canvas, I’m really into making (musical) art. I’m a classically-trained musician; I’ve been playing the clarinet for 10 years now. Each year, I get a season subscription to the NY Philharmonic because listening to classical music performed live sends chills up and down my spine. On a less artistic note, I love playing the Sims (The Sims 3 is the best iteration of the game; I will fight you on that)! Maybe it’s just an extension of my desire to control people, but I love creating storylines and playing out the lives of simulated humans.

Now that’s a fun idea for a scene! A Sims Domme…haha! Have you ever thought about orchestrating and controlling a group of people just like Sims…like, dungeon Sims?
I’ve never thought about that before, but it could be hot! I like the idea of turning down the “Free Will” function on people haha (for those of you who don’t play the Sims, the amount of free will the simulation humans have is adjustable based on the player’s preferences). It seems like it might be hard in real life though because I use the pause button pretty aggressively while playing the game; it’s hard to pause people in real life!

Sign me up to be a Sims slave! 😉

Let’s conclude on that high note! Amber, we are so excited to get to know you. I hope NYC can show you a good dose of kinkiness before you leave us for Boston! And New Englanders, please welcome her with sweets and gifts of your fear and tears. We know she’ll relish both!

Check out her Artist profile here and email her at meetamberamante@gmail.com to set up an unforgettable scene!

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Featured Artist Interview: Switch Margot!

In this installment of AOS Featured Artist Interviews, we learn about the wonderfully free-spirited, adventurous and FUN Switch Margot! Join us as we discuss the intersections of BDSM, art and education!

Hi Margot! I heard that you just celebrated your 5 year anniversary of living in New York City! How does it feel?

Thriving in this city feels like one of my greatest accomplishments. I get to do what I’m most passionate about every day, which is to make kinky art!! When I’m not using my creative talents in session, I’m drawing, journaling, writing blog posts, planning photo shoots for work or participating in events to help further education in BDSM and sexuality. I have a wonderful community of people who support me, and I love it when I have the opportunity to use my skills and experience to give back.

You are an incredible artist! Your work is very provocative. Can you tell us more about it?

Sure!! I’m very proud of my erotic illustrations, and I’ve been using porn as a source of material and inspiration for my art since college. Growing up, I believed that porn was scary or gross, or just something that I wasn’t supposed to like because I’m a girl, but collecting and drawing hardcore images helped me come to terms with my own desires. Women who performed submissive roles, whose bodies were bound or subjugated in some way, appeared to me to be the most powerful. I created performance pieces and installations that allowed me to explore kinky subject matter and cultivate my budding exhibitionism. This stuff transformed into the career that fulfills and sustains me now

Have you always been kinky? Or did you develop your taste for BDSM after moving to the NYC?

I suppose that the potential to be kinky was inside me all along. As a kid, I played adventure games that involved being captured and tied up, or surviving alone in the wilderness. I loved to play dogs, and my close friends and I had our own little pack. When I got older, I had a perfectionist streak, and pursued AP academics and endurance sports such as cross country, which anyone can tell you is masochistic.

My hunger for experience and sensation only grew as I became aware of socially constructed power dynamics. I explored it in as many ways and with as many individuals as I could, analyzing it in my art, but never really connecting the concept of BDSM to it. So, yes, I was kinky, but I just didn’t know it.

I always tell people that you are the most perverted person I know (please take that as a compliment)! What drives your avant-garde interest in BDSM?

Something that really resonates with me is Julia Kristeva’s theory of abjection, which states that people react in horror to that which threatens to break down the boundary between ourselves and the other. BDSM is like constantly finding that boundary, and it’s the most intimate experience that I can have with myself or with someone else. Finding your limits and accepting them or having someone else accept them feels extremely vulnerable.

I guess another way to put it is that I like to surprise and shock other people just as much as I like to surprise and shock myself.

It sounds like kink has always been a part of your identity. How has realizing that affected your lifestyle?

Realizing that I wasn’t alone and seeking out a community of kinky, sex positive people, changed my life. Even though the subject of my sexuality fueled my art and allowed me to express myself, I still felt like an outsider. When a community exists, so do expectations: mutual respect, open communication, and consent. I truly value my early experiences, but I also see how my desires as a submissive to give up control and to receive degradation lead to hurtful relationships when the context of BDSM was absent.

Actively choosing to be submissive is so much more powerful than passively accepting social norm. The structure of BDSM allows for a lot of flexibility to suit the individuals that practice it, and it also asks those individuals to be self reflexive. It can be cathartic, but it’s not therapy, and, in the end, it’s supposed to be fun!!

How has understanding BDSM affected your art?

Understanding BDSM peaked my interest in learning the skills I needed to be a capable player, and in pursuing a career as a pro switch. I consider my sessions to be my performance art tailored to an audience of one, and the content that I produce on social media to be part of my character’s story. My art and life really intersect through Margot.

What is the most fun that you’ve had recently?

I got gangbanged for my birthday. That was fun!! Organizing the whole thing was quite a feat, too. I helped create the initial invitation, outline my expectations and hard limits, and decide on the date and location, but I wanted the participants to be a surprise. I wore a hood the entire time, and I was tied up, held down, tossed around. It was everything that I could have hoped for. My friends recorded it and edited it into a feature film with a killer soundtrack. The sense of camaraderie during the scene and the screening was so heartwarming.

[Dear readers, this was a personal scene and not available for booking. And also, no, you cannot watch the film – Margot is a delightful open book, but some things must be kept mysterious! 😉 ]

So where are you now? What are you into these days, and how would you describe your kink orientation?

I’m a switch, leaning a shade more submissive than dominant, more bottom than Top. Call me greedy, but l like to receive direction and sensation alike. I love pushing my partners’ buttons and exploring their interests while they explore the depths of mine.

Perhaps a good way to describe my submission would be to say that I strive to be the receptive vessel to my partner’s confidence. Confidence and Dominance really go hand in hand, and it’s catnip to a kinkster like me. Even as a Dominant, I can’t feel a spark between myself and a submissive with zero sense of self worth. Power exchange is my biggest fetish, and both parties need to bring some kindling to the table if anything is to catch fire.

The beauty of power exchange is that you don’t need a BDSM scene to feel its presence. It can be expressed very simply in the playful give and take of a thoughtful conversation. It can be expressed in flirtatious requests and suggestions and subtle acts of service.

What advice do you have for Switches, newbie or experienced players?

The second Satanic Statement in LaVey’s Satanic Bible states: “Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!” Replace ‘Satan’ with switching, and you’ve got my kind of mantra! I’m a big fan of distinguishing between submissive, bottom, Domme and Top. They are four distinct roles, and switches especially should embrace fluidity as they search for their pleasure.

In regards to pleasure, also keep in mind that there will be certain things you try that just don’t feel good at all. It’s important to keep an open mind, and to be ok with feeling silly or unsexy. There will be times that something doesn’t feel or have the effect that you thought it was. Hold true to your hard limits, never push yourself to the point of injury (physical or otherwise), but know that it takes time for new sensations and experiences to process. Some things become erotic in the moment, and other things will take more reflection, a different setting, or a different partner.

Thank you for sharing the story of Margot! You have and always will be one of my favorite people. Whether we are talking about art, kink, working out, or which brand of flogger to stock for the dungeon, you always bring a fresh perspective. Your unique take on the world and breath-of-fresh-air candor make you a true Original. Keep on being you because we love you!

To book Margot, check out her Artist profile!

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INTERVIEW WITH MIRANDA ST-CLAIRE

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How did you start exploring your submissiveness in D/s play?

I’ve been playing the role of distressed damsel since childhood. I was always the one who wanted to be kidnapped and held prisoner. My adult self is a (barely) refined version of this young girl, and I’ve been actively exploring D/s since I reached maturity. I like being forced to do what I already want to do!

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INTERVIEW WITH SUBMISSIVE LILY

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How did you start exploring your submissiveness in D/s play?

In adolescence, I awoke to a secret and very powerful need to submit, but I had no idea how or who to ask. I tried mere spankings, but I discovered I craved something more – something visceral that I could not articulate and was too ashamed to admit. Eventually, I sought out and found where and how to ask for the “it” I had yet to name: Your dominance. My surrender. I still crave it deeply every day.

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Featured Artist Interview: Lita Kai!

With the launch of our newly revamped website, comes a new Featured Artist Interview with the youngest member of AOS, Lita Kai! Every time we come away from spending time with her, comes the thought that wisdom doesn’t always just come from age; some people are born with it. Getting to know this petite firecracker is a pleasure in every way!

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Featured Artist Interview: Josephine Barre

After a long hiatus, we are finally back and ready to delve deep into the minds of our much-adored Artists! Here, we’ll share our thoughts full of insight, anecdotes, mischief, and of course, lots of kink! In the first Featured Artist interview of 2016, let’s learn more about one of my favorite people in the world. Not only is she a brilliant switch and educator that I often describe as “seduction incarnate,” “both kittenish and tigress,” and “deliciously deviant,” she is one of the kindest, sweetest, most generous people I know. Personally and professionally, my admiration of Switch Josephine knows no bounds.

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Featured Artist Interview: Ashley Paige

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To kick off (and kink off) the start of autumn, we’re sitting down with our new Featured Artist Ashley Paige, a madly seductive switch, a diabolically demanding Mistress, and a hungry submissive yearning for more! Let’s see what dark crevices of her deviant mind we can explore together…

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INTERVIEW WITH ELLE FOX

How did you start exploring your submissiveness in D/s play?

I had explored kink in private since childhood; I was tying myself up (or trying to get my friends to) and getting in playful ‘slap fights’ since before I can even remember. It wasn’t until I moved to New York and went to my first kink party that I explored genuine submission though. That’s a whole story in itself, but I’ll just say that I had a blast, and my butt was very red when I left!

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INTERVIEW WITH KYLIE RAINE

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How did you start exploring your submissiveness in D/s play?

I was a very curious and adventurous child – which is probably why I ended up kinky and bisexual! I began exploring young when I suggested to a boyfriend that he be more rough with me, and it quickly escalated from there. I realized that this kind of play was something that I was skilled at and more importantly, needed. Since then, I’ve tried everything from a little spanking to get the juices flowing to being in a 24/7 D/s relationship. Over the last five years, I’ve eagerly and deliciously begun to explore kink in a professional context.

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