Bondage and Restraints 101

A is for apple… B is for bondage… Let’s talk about restraints! Bondage or restraints is an excellent tool for anyone who has ever encountered a bottom that just will not stay still and accept their punishment. Maybe you need to use both your hands during a session or scene, and you can’t afford to use your body weight to hold your submissive down. Whatever the reason, bondage has got your back.

TYPES

Restraints are broadly defined as any tool that ties one body part to another thing, whether it be body part to body part or body part to inanimate object. There are three main types of material used in commercially produced restraints, and those are metal, leather, and rope.

Metal is a harsh and unforgiving type of restraint. Since it is inflexible, it can often leave longer lasting bruises and can become uncomfortable quite quickly. Police handcuffs are often one of the first types of restraints people think of, but they really are not the most versatile or safe types of restraints.

Fun History Fact: Rope tying originated in Japan as kinbaku in the early 1600s, and has since disseminated and evolved across the globe. But did you know that some types of modern rope typing was adapted directly from ancient Japanese torture manuals? Kinky!

Leather restraints are much more comfortable as leather is pliable. Some types of leather restraints even have faux fur linings to make it even softer for the wearer. As we learned in SPANKING 101, comfort for the bottom means longer playtime for you. Many leather restraints have buckle or clasp closings, and some are padlock compatible.

Rope is another iconic bondage type. Rope comes in many textures of different softness or scratchiness, and can be used to simply tie limbs together or can be decorative pieces of art. Rope tying can take some time to learn how to use and a long time to use in a session, so it is not for the impatient types!

SAFETY

As with everything in the world of BDSM, there are many safety issues to consider when using restraints. Most of these come down to the issue of placement: where are you putting the restraints on her body, how are you putting them on her body, and for that matter… where are you putting her body?

The question of “where are you putting her body” often seems to be an afterthought as many people choose to do bondage in precarious places. Use your brain and think! If she is hog-tied on the bed (meaning she is on her belly with her wrists tied to her ankles), and she accidentally rolls over, she could roll off the side of the bed! If she is standing with her ankles tied together and her arms are tied to the ceiling, and she happens to tip sideways, she could dislocate her shoulders! When planning where to restrain your submissive, always think about the extreme what-if situations. Consider how stable she is, and have a plan for what you will do if something goes wrong. Remember: never leave a restrained person alone.

Once you’ve decided where you will restrain your submissive, now you must decide what to restrain. The most popular things to tie are wrists and ankles, but almost anything is on the table as long as you remember to avoid any major joints, arteries, or nerves. “Joints, artieries, and nerves?” you ask? “But Art of Submission Fairy, you just said people love to tie up wrists and ankles! Those are important joints and contain major arteries and nerves!” You are a clever reader, indeed! This is why how you restrain is important.

The rule of thumb for safely putting restraints on a body is that you should be able to run two fingers flat against the skin and the restraint. If the restraint is so tight that you can’t fit your fingers under it, then it is too tight for blood to flow for very long. Despite one’s best efforts, however, sometimes body parts will fall asleep while in restraints. Be sure to ask your submissive to communicate a sleepy limb to you immediately. If the restraint on the sleepy limb is not adjusted immediately (loosened or taken off entirely), then permanent nerve damage could result.

PUTTING RESTRAINTS TO USE

Restraints are typically used for one of two things: restricting movement, or creating challenges. You can use restraints to secure limbs to any relatively immobile object (beds, walls, door frames, etc) to keep your submissive in one spot. You can use restraints to tie your submissive to herself (wrist to wrist, ankle to ankle, ankles to wrists, etc) to make it harder for her to fight back. If you like your submissive to wiggle, but you also like to humiliate her, you can restrain her in any number of ways and then present her with tasks or challenges. Examples could be tying her each wrist to her upper arm like a T-Rex or a chicken wing but asking her to present you with a glass of water, tying her wrists to her ankles and asking her to crawl across the room, etc.

Use your imagination and experiment! It’s okay if she slips out of the restraints because that just gives you a chance to try something new. Try not to get too tied up (heh) in the technicalities of restraints and focus on what bondage can do for your play!

*BDSM can be dangerous and cause injury to yourself and others if not practiced safely. Don’t play hard if you don’t know what you are doing (ie. the likes of electric tools, asphyxiation, bondage, wax play, sensory deprivation and augmentation, etc.).  Never leave your partner tied up alone, and always be concerned about blood circulation and nerves. Please do your research and contact a professional (ahem…come visit us!) to learn more before you act!