Some of the best Snapchats I ever get are of the “guess what’s going on in this picture” variety. Specifically, the “guess what part of my body is currently being contorted/ shocked/ stitched/ variety.” A few weeks ago, Chloe, one of our very own artists, sent me a particularly delightful series. There were a few photos, different angles of a line of small, organized stitches: “guess what I did last night?” Moments like that are my favorite because her night and mine had not been so different. While she had watched a gentleman (in his other life, an anesthesiologist) place a row of impeccably aligned sutures into her thigh (I guessed the correct body part, in case you were wondering), I’d been learning how to do the same, albeit contingent on a bit more blood and a lot less pleasure.

I spend a lot of time around various kinds of doctoring (hopefully I’ll be one some day, but for now, in the brief moments that I’m not thinking about being kinky, I’m in a perpetual state of learning). One of the more uncouth thoughts I have on a regular basis is about all the ways that practicing to be a doctor is so much better if you’re a little kinky. I’ve got a community of people who will be more than willing to bear with me while I’m learning to place stitches – they’d probably be having someone else do it, anyway! Some of it is a little less tangible, though. We, as a species, come in some pretty non-standard shapes and sizes and engage in a whole array of non-standard behaviors. Sure, some of it is crazy sex stuff that I can more or less wrap my head around, but some of it is just beyond the realm of my comprehension. Any proper physician can handle that without giggling or looking horrified. But, there’s a learning curve: at some point, the unbelievable stuff just becomes part of a regular Tuesday. Until then, it requires conscious effort not to be astounded by bodies that don’t follow normal patterns or behaviors that don’t seem to make sense.

Kink, however, forces a certain kind of blanket acceptance. A good friend of mine says it best: don’t yuck someone else’s yum. In other words, other people do a lot of crazy shit that you’re probably not into. So what? Because of kink, it takes a lot more to shock me – I’ve spent the last few years learning how to empathize, rather than look horrified when I find out that someone is into something that I don’t understand. Sure, there’s probably other ways to develop that skill, but with kink, I get empathy – and a comprehensive anatomy course!